Cheaters Always Win

When I was a kid, I was taught that "cheaters never win." Well, that's clearly not true. Later in life, a friend suggested a modification to "cheaters never prosper," since clearly they regularly win. Trouble is, that's clearly not true either. (If you used the phrase "cheaters never win" with kids today, would they just look quizzically at you as if you just said "This above all: to thine own self be true"?)

I'm a huge sports fans. All kinds of sports. I've been known to walk around the house saying "sports, sports, sports!" while on my way to watch sports on the big tv purchased expressly for watching sports. (ok, also for The Mr.'s video gaming habit.) My favorite things to watch are NFL football and college basketball. But I digress...

I care about sports. And I'm really bugged by all the cheating in sports these days. Every time I load up the ESPN website (ok, it's my homepage...) there's a new cheating storyline. This week, it's the cheater, cheater pants on fire Patriots. (wait, that's not how that goes...) And that's just the coaching staff. All the cheater players and their performance enhancing drugs don't even seem to matter in the NFL. But it certainly seems to matter in Major League Baseball, just ask Barry Bonds and Senator George Mitchell. And the NBA has cheating, gambling, probably game-throwing referees. And goodness knows it's not a sport, but some Formula One racing team just got fined $100 million for somehow doing racecar cheating. And I had to give up watching the Tour de France altogether this year because every freaking rider is doping. Even the ones who "promised" they weren't this time. (And yes, I admire Lance Armstrong and his accomplishments and everything he's done for cancer research. And no, I don't believe he was a clean rider.)

I could go on and on. Track and Field? Ha. The Olympics? Right. Honestly, at this point I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Tiger Woods has experimented with HGH. Really, I wouldn't.

All of this. Everything. I really can't stand it. And what do we as fans do in these instances? We forgive and forget. We keep right on watching. We keep buying tickets. We forever fall in love with winners.

I know that cheating in sports is nothing new. Like everything else, it has simply benefited from technological advancements. My boss laughed out loud at me this week when I tried to argue that I watch sports not as pure entertainment, but because I believe in the spirit of competition and athletic achievement. Really, is this what sport has come to? Pure entertainment? Anything goes for a competitive edge? Winning at all costs?

It appears the answer to these questions is yes. And really, it's hard to even blame individuals anymore. Amateur and professional sports alike are all about the money. And the money comes from winning. And winning is enhanced by cheating. So what choice does the athlete really have any more? (And let's be honest, this blog entry needn't be limited to sports. Just ask any teacher. Or politician. Or Dennis Kozlowski.

Anyway, I guess I'm just not quite ready accept this. Or at least admit it to myself. But it seems I better get used to it.

UPDATE: Yesterday the editor of my local paper, the Star Tribune, was forced by a judge to step down from his job for 1 year. Why? Basically for the newspaper version of stealing signs. Until recently, this editor was the editor of the cross-town rival paper, the Pioneer Press. Apparently he saw fit to bring some confidential trade secrets with him when he switched teams. Wouldn't Bill Belichick be proud.